How A Dragon Destroyed the Maternity Ward
by The13thGirlWithoutASoul
Summary: ...and Other Next Gen Misfortunes. No babies were harmed in the making of this fic. Mostly crack and noncrack one shots about Winx with their kids.
1. A Long Awaited Birth

**Title: How A Dragon Destoyed the Materinty Ward**

**Rating: T for curse words and the miracle of life**

**Summary: No babies were harmed in the making of this fan fic. Cracky and noncracky oneshots of the Winx with their children. Mostly crack.**

* * *

"Congratulations, Queen Bloom." the doctor motioned to the nurse and the nurse handed the squalling baby to her. One might wonder why Sparx kept so many royal traditionals alive but couldn't endorse, with all the magic and mediale technology they had, having Bloom give birth at the castle. Thinking back it might have saved them from a whole lot fire.

"And what would you like me write for the Princess' name, your Highnesses?" said the royal messenger, who had been in the room the whole time but had fainted long before Bloom had had the baby. Birth certificates didn't exist in the Magix Dimension, but everyone was required to document their child in a huge database stored on Zenith.

"We are," said Bloom, glancing up at Sky who had just snuck back into the room after leaping out, running down the hall screaming, and vomiting in the men's urinals, "Going to name her Cloesia Samara of Eraklyon. Chloe for short." Bloom had become slightly more bearable over the years and had let Sky help to choose Chloe's name. Bloom looked down adoringly at the baby girl who would follow in her footsteps exactly, but be given all the things Bloom had never had. Magical instruction from n early age, the truth about her heritahe, parents that loved her...! She had dreamt of her own baby girl ever since Sky and Bloom got married. Winx Club 2.0, here they came!

"Iisabouwy." mumbled the Doctor very, very, very quietly.

"What?" asked Bloom. The doctor nodded to Sky and quickly evacuated the room. Bloom turned to Sky. "What is this about?"

"Issabuy." he said and turned for the door. Bloom made the door disappear by magic and Sky turned to her in defeat.

"WHAT? IS? IT?"

"A BOY!" Sky screamed with notes of girlishness, mimicking his favorite Cologne, Manly Sweet Pea.

Two words and Bloom's entire plans for the future went crashing down around her. No more picking out her daughter's first ball gown. No more sending her off to Alfea. No more Winx Club 2.0—for Bloom.

"What?" asked Bloom before bursting into tears. "But—but what if he doesn't have any powers? What if he's wimpy and feminine like you, Sky?" she sobbed. "Can't I trade with someone else for a girl?"

"No, Bloom. That's illegal." he sighed. But knowing how to handle his wife, he took the baby from her, played with its fingers, and said, "Maybe we can give it to Diaspro to take care of if you don't like it."

That was it. Magically Bloom snatched the baby back. "No! You're not giving anything to that bitch!"

"Then hush dear. Not around the baby." the baby, who had done nothing to warrant the misfortune of being born into Bloom's family, was screaming his darling little face off but was being ignored in favor of his parents' argument.

BECAUSE THAT WAS JUST HOW NATURALLY BLOOM'S MOTHERING INSTINCTS CAME TO HER.


	2. Meet the Next Gen

**A/N: Sorry about any typos, I am typing this on FFn and it does paranormal things to my spellcheck. **

The new royal babysitter, Lizzy, pushed open the front door of Princess Bloom's summer mansions. "Hello?"

"Hi!" Bloom greeted her, coming out the door. "Our oldest is thirteen and there's money on the kitchen counter. Good luck!" the front door slammed behind her and she came face to face with a little boy whose hair seemed to be half red and half blond, the colors parting at the center of his scalp. Despite his rich, palatial setting, he wore a T-shirt and pants.

"I'm Prince Flame, but people just call me Prince Flame." he whispered.

"Is your mother Princess Bloom?" she asked, and he nodded.

"How many kids are there?" she asked.

"Including me, eight." he said. She choked on her own breath. "We're having a sleepover. I'm eleven."

She walked into the common room of the castle to see eleven children, ranging from ten to one. A girl a few years younger then Prince Flame—with blue eyes and a matching, jewel-encrusted golden dress and tiara. She looked like the Lollipop Princess from Candyland, but with red hair and a nasty expression directed towards Prince Flame.

"Are you the new baby sitter?" she asked, glaring at Flame, who shrank back. Lizzy nodded, holding Flame's shoulders somewhat protectively. Who was this girl?

"Well, Royal Babysitter, I am Princess Ember Violet Crystal Brigella Maryellenannaelizabethgrace." she announced. "Crown Princess and heiress to Sparx and Eraklyon."

"You're crown princess. So you're...older than Prince Flame?" asked Lizzy, attempting to figure it out in her head. She frowned.

"Who?"

"Him." she joggled the cowering Prince Flame.

"Oh, Flame! No, I'm his younger sister. Mommy made me crown princess after I was born. Flamey—" she said out of the side of her mouth, "Wasn't exactly what Mommy wanted."

"...oh." was all Lizzy could say.

"This is illogical. Who is that?" asked another voice, belonging to a ginger girl with thick hipster glasses. A boy with pink hair and a huge gadget in pieces in front of him regarded her from the floor before Lizzy had a chance.

"It's the babysitter. Who do you think? And if you say 'logical' or 'illogical' again one more time I'm gonna throttle you. Mom doesn't even say that."

"Well, maybe I do. I'm not my mom, you know." snapped the girl, readjusting her hipster glasses. "I'm reinventing myself."

"As what?" the pink haired boy raised an eyebrow.

"I'm getting closer to nature—I bought my clothes at a thrift store and I'm drinking tea from Linphea, see? And I'm starting a blog about it." she untwisted her ugly thermos and a pungent aroma filled the air.

"What's in that?" asked the boy suspiciously.

Ember Violet cleared her throat and kicked the girl in the shin before continuing. "You are not reinventing yourself. Isn't your mom good enough? These're Tecna's kids, Droida and Axel—our oldest, and twins. These," she gestured to twins who looked about nine, "Are Flora's kids, Flower and Petal."

"Wait." said Lizzy. "Those two are boys." indeed they were. Two brunette boys with gray eyes who regarded her somberly from sketch pads. Ember Violet frowned.

"Your point."

Lizzy caught sight of the horse with a rider depicted on Flower's (or it might've been Petal's) page and knelt to see it. "That's good. Do you like to ride horses?"

He nodded eagerly. "I love horses. I want to be—"

Emberintitinetta cleared her throat. "A specialist and an artist like your dad." she snapped. Petal/Flower dropped his head.

"Yeah. That's what I want to be." he said quietly.

"This is Solar, Stella's kid." Ember Violet gestured to a chubby eight or nine year old unwrapping a cupcake. When she caught sight of the cupcake she frowned."Sol, your Mommy would get mad if you ate that. You're supposed to be watching your weight so you can go on TV with her, right?"

Solar nodded silently and tossed the little cake into the trash. Lizzy blinked.

"Um, Princess Ember?" asked Flame quietly from practically behind a curtain. "I'm going to go do my homework with Celena."

"You will not. Mom said we all have to stay in the playroom for the royal babysitter. Besides, she's at a voice lesson. She's going to be a singer one day."

"No she's not. She sucks." said Axel, the pink haired boy, bluntly.

"Shut up. Your negative feelings are ruining my damn meditation." snapped Droida, who looked to be around thirteen.

Lizzy looked at Prince Flame, who sighed. "I made a map I wanted to show her. She likes my maps."

"Do you like making maps?" asked Lizzy. He nodded nervously.

"He doesn't really." put in Ember Violet. "He likes swordplay and dragons and saving people."

"Please. Dragons scare him and he can't lift a sword unless it's made out of styrofoam. And Flame's never saved a person in his life! He's good at maps." Axel directed this last comment towards Lizzy.

Ember Violet raised her hands threateningly. "You really wanna mess with our destinies...and the Dragon Fire?"

"Woah now." Lizzy said.

"I'm not messing with anything. I'm just saying maybe I don't want to be introduced as Tecna's kid all the time." Axel replied to the younger girl.

"Really? Because I heard something more like mutiny in that voice. you not proud of our parents?"

"Then get a hearing aid, Ember, because you know we're all proud of them. Now don't you dare talk to my brother that way again," growled Droida, setting down her suspicious thermos with a bang, "Or you're history."

"I thought you were blogging about being a pacifist." muttered Axel.

"I am. I'm blogging about how much it _sucks_." Droida raised her voice and started deeply into Ember's old-looking eyes. The Dragon Fire glinted in them coldly. "Now shut up, Ember."

Lizzy remembered the phone numbers on the fridge and ran out of the room. Suddenly there was a loud noise and she ran back to the door to look in.

The furniture was burnt but otherwise it looked as if nothing had happened. Ember Violet noticed her look and brought her hand down from the marks on her face.

"It's fine. Happens all the time! Just a little argument." indeed, Droida was back to typing on her laptop calmly, despite the brown burns on her forearms. The only thing out of place were the tears running down Prince Flame's face.

"I don't like it when you fight." whispered the Prince, but before Lizzy could do anything, Ember Violet cornered him.

"Come on, Flame, don't cry, come on." she slapped him. "Come on. Crying's for girls."

Lizzy hoped that maybe the king and queen of Isis would be more in need of her services. These kids were seriously messed up.


End file.
